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Your IELTS Writing Feedback
Band Score
6.5
Criteria Breakdown
Task Response
7.0The essay addresses both views clearly and presents a personal opinion with supporting ideas. The argument is generally well-developed, though some points could be elaborated further with more specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing. However, the misuse of discourse markers (e.g. "However" instead of "On the other hand") weakens cohesion. Referencing and substitution are adequate but could be more sophisticated.
Lexical Resource
6.0Vocabulary is adequate for the task but relies on common, everyday words. There are noticeable errors in word choice ("giving" instead of "equipping") and collocation ("do effort"). More varied and precise academic vocabulary would improve the score.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
6.5A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used. However, there are recurring subject-verb agreement errors and structural mistakes ("due to they lack"). The essay demonstrates some grammatical range but accuracy is inconsistent.
Strengths
- 1Clear essay structure with a logical introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that follows a standard academic format.
- 2Both sides of the argument are addressed with relevant supporting points and a real-world example (Germany's dual education system).
- 3A clear personal opinion is presented in a dedicated paragraph with supporting reasoning.
- 4Good use of topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.
Areas for Improvement
- 1Expand the discussion with more specific examples and evidence to support each argument — avoid making general claims without illustration.
- 2Use a wider range of academic vocabulary and avoid informal word choices like "giving" in formal writing contexts.
- 3Ensure subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout, especially when the subject is separated from the verb by a prepositional phrase.
- 4Learn and apply paired discourse markers correctly (e.g. "On the one hand... On the other hand") to improve essay cohesion.
Your Essay with Corrections
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Next Steps
- 1Practice identifying the true subject in sentences with prepositional phrases (e.g. "The role of universities HAS been...") to avoid subject-verb agreement errors.
- 2Build a personal list of 20+ academic collocations (make an effort, draw a conclusion, conduct research) and use them in practice essays.
- 3Study paired linking phrases: "On the one hand / On the other hand", "Not only / but also", "While / at the same time" and practice using them in body paragraphs.
- 4Write one timed practice essay per week focusing specifically on using a range of complex sentence structures with accurate grammar.
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